No, it isn’t that either. “Gentle sleep training” is honestly an oxymoron. Sleep training goes by many names – like “cry-it-out”, “extinction”, “controlled crying”, or gentler sounding ones like “pick up put down”, “camping out”, “shuffle”, “crying in arms”, “the chair method”, “responsive settling”, etc. Then there are the recommendations to put baby down “drowsy but awake” or to “break sleep associations” or simply “habits”. There is also the logical sounding recommendation to “teach baby to sleep”.

Anything that causes crying – a little or a lot – is harmful. It is downright distress.

“Teaching a baby to self-soothe” is completely unscientific as babies have an underdeveloped neocortex (thinking brain) and are UNABLE to self-soothe. Connecting sleep cycles and sleeping through the night are milestones, just like crawling, talking or walking. They cannot be taught. They occur in their own time. Your baby calling out for you isn’t a bad habit. It is an age-appropriate biological need that they outgrow with time.

Your baby does not need to learn to sleep. It is not a “skill” that parents need to impart. Sleep is biological. It occurs naturally if natural conditions are met.

I totally understand this concern. We feel that baby sleep, like all of parenting, should be intuitive and that it’s strange to seek professional help to tell us how to handle our own baby. After all, parents have been raising babies for generations without any “expert advice”. The fact is, though, that baby sleep is an art and a science and modern society is not aligned with a baby’s biological needs. So, while it is definitely possible to figure it out ourselves, consulting a specialist shortens the learning curve, helps cut through all the misinformation available and prevents a lot of needless experimentation

Sadly, parents fear judgment every day. Is this sleep expert going to tell me I shouldn’t be nursing my baby to sleep? Is she going to be shocked at how I have absolutely no schedule for my baby? Is she going to judge me for being a failure? No, no and no. All my counselling sessions are based on empathy, discussion and mutual understanding. What’s more, after having interacted with thousands of parents, I can assure you that nothing is going to shock me. I can guarantee that, whatever you may be throwing at me, I have seen much worse. It is not my job to dwell on the “mistakes” you may have made. I can assure you that I know all the mis-steps, all the myths, all the common practices. I know how confusion is possible even though each one of us does our very best for our babies. It is my job to provide solutions, explanations and support. It is my endeavour that you leave each session feeling heard, supported and filled with optimism about the road ahead.