What are sleep regressions and nap transitions?
What are sleep regressions and nap transitions? A sleep regression is a temporary disturbance in a baby’s sleep pattern. As the term suggests, a baby takes a few steps “back” in the way she sleeps by waking more frequently or resisting naps and bedtime or having active nightwakings or taking shorter naps or waking earlier in the morning than she did before the regression. These are usually caused by neurological changes and cognitive development. So, it is important to note that sleep regresses but the baby is undergoing a “progression” in actuality. Regressions commonly occur at ages like 4 months (when sleep cycles and circadian rhythms are being formed), 8-10 months (when there is massive physical development and baby starts crawling and cruising, experiencing separation anxiety and also teething), 12 months (walking), 16 months (speech development and walking), 18 months, 21 months and 24 months (all 3 linked to immense speech and cognitive development). This is a time when our babies need our support more than ever. The best way to handle regressions is to try to stick to the sleep schedule to the extent possible and give babies all the extra nurturing they need. They may need a different mode of soothing, they may need to be held while they sleep, they may need our understanding during active nightwakings. We need to avoid overtiredness as much as possible and just ride it out. Almost an entirely new person awaits us on the other side! A nap transition is a different sort of disruption in the baby sleep journey. Babies change the number of daytime naps they take quite regularly. Just when we think we’ve got their (and therefore our, the house’s and the entire universe’s) routines in order, bam! They drop a nap and the whole world turns on its axis🙂 Babies need a fair amount of daytime sleep. As they grow older, the total amount of daytime sleep reduces gradually and it also consolidates into fewer naps. This is a neurological phenomenon. They can stay awake for longer between naps (they need a longer period of time awake to build up “sleep pressure” – which is determined by their homeostatic rhythms) and they also need longer stretches of sleep at a go. So, at 4 months old, they take 5 naps totaling about 5 hours of sleep. At 5 months, they still sleep 5 hours but they take 4 naps – some of which may be longer than before. At 6 months, they shift to 3 naps totaling 4 hours of sleep. At 8 months, they shift to 2 naps totaling 3.5 to 4 hours of sleep. Between 15 and 21 months, they shift to one mammoth nap of 3 hours. Eventually, the length of that nap reduces to 2.5 then 2 and then maybe even 1.5 hours by the age of 4 years. Somewhere between the age of 3 and 5 years, children stop napping altogether and sleep 12 hours straight at night. Nap transitions can be tricky to manage because they usually take a few weeks to settle. There can be a long period of time when baby takes a higher number of naps on some days and a lower number on other days. This can be accompanied by nap resistance, bedtime resistance, short naps, active nightwakings and early morning wakings. Usually, the way to handle it is to help baby expand the awake windows between naps gradually and to also provide a lot of support to baby to lengthen the naps. Lengthening the naps and providing a super early bedtime (often 6 pm) helps baby manage without the extra nap.
5 Parenting Books I Love
5 Parenting Books I Love 1. Kiss Me! by the Spanish paediatrician Carlos Gonzalez This is a deeply researched, wittily written and eminently readable book that makes a case for parenting “with love”, as opposed to what the book calls “fascist parenting”. Dr Gonzalez argues against a culture of parenting where the parent is “in charge” and children are considered “intrinsically bad or manipulative beings” who need to be brought in control as early as possible. He believes that children are inherently good, responsible, sociable, selfless and generous. He advocates “ethical parenting” where parents don’t adopt an antagonistic position with their children and don’t tirelessly work at making the child “disciplined” or “independent”. Also, he believes that children’s bodies are programmed to know what they need and that it is best to follow their cues. He explains why children want to sleep with us at night, why going to nursery school can be such a traumatic event for them, why they cry if we leave the room, why they seem to never want to eat. He demolishes ideas like time-outs, behaviourism and the whole idea of “habits”, rewards and punishments, “training” babies to do various things – and he does it with infallible logic, immaculate research and brilliant humour. There are laugh out loud moments on every second page. Chock-full of anecdotes, studies and beautiful wit, Dr Gonzalez will mould the way you parent forever! 2. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by Diane Wiessinger and Diana West of the La Leche League This is the ultimate bible on breastfeeding. As a Leader of the La Leche League myself, I completely trust the information in this book, which includes • real-mom wisdom on breastfeeding comfortably—from avoiding sore nipples to simply enjoying the amazing bonding experience • new insights into old approaches toward latching and attaching, ages and stages, and answers to the most-asked questions • strategies for moms who choose to breastfeed for a short time or who plan to nurse for a year or more • reassuring information on nursing after a C-section or delivery complications • recent scientific data that highlight the many lifelong health benefits of breastfeeding • helpful tips for building your support network—at home or when back at work • nursing special-needs infants, premies, multiples, and how to thrive no matter what curveball life throws • guidance on breast health issues, weight gain, day care, colic, postpartum depression, food allergies, and medications Although assumed to come naturally to mother and child, breastfeeding is actually fraught with obstacles and challenges. There are, of course, medical issues sometimes, but more commonly, the problems are social and systemic. Massive marketing campaigns by infant formula manufacturers for the past century have created a medical system that is only waiting for the slightest lapse—real or perceived—in the breastfeeding relationship to introduce artificial milk to the baby. Waking multiple times every night and being strapped to a chair all day as a literal ‘mother dairy,’ social stigma around feeding in public places, inadequate pumping facilities in offices, and being plagued by constant self-doubt create both logistical problems and emotional stress for the mother. It takes a village to raise a child but, in modern urban life, not only are young parents often in nuclear setups, but easy access to scientific information and global trends has led to a generation gap between new parents and their elders. For example, our parents’ generation was raising babies at the peak of the infant formula revolution. They do not necessarily understand or relate to exclusive and long-term breastfeeding. Doctors too receive very little training on breastfeeding and, more often than not, scapegoat it for any difficulty a parent may be facing. It’s difficult for them to problem-solve the art and science of breastfeeding, which is meant to be instinctive but is often not anymore. In such a scenario, it’s very important for parents who want to breastfeed to have access to the right information. This book is a great starting point. 3. The Wonder Weeks by Frans X. Plooij, Hetty van de Rijt, and Xaviera Plas-Plooij A wonderful, practical guide for the first 20 months of a baby’s life. This book marks out 10 clear developmental leaps that babies take – naming each one a “wonder week” (versus something like a “fussy period”) because, although hard on both babies and parents, each of these periods is actually a magical leap forward in a baby’s development. From “the world of changing sensations” to “the world of sequences” to “the world of systems”, babies undergo a massive transformation and are almost reborn with a new consciousness every few weeks.Like a caterpillar struggling out of a cocoon and becoming a butterfly, babies who are undergoing such a transformation can sleep poorly, cry more, cling more, lose their appetites, experience separation or stranger anxiety, be less lively, regress in certain behaviours, throw tantrums etc, but then emerge as new beings with an amazing new set of skills. The authors suggest that parents can actually help babies work their way through a wonder week and these periods should in fact be seen as opportunities to help our babies grow. They give practical suggestions and tips on how to encourage a baby to develop the next set of skills. With my first baby, I followed the book and, with my second, the app. Although the dates didn’t always coincide exactly and some of the information repeats itself across the different wonder weeks, the central idea is useful and empowering. Wonder weeks often overlap with sleep regressions and babies do tend to sleep poorly when working on skills. Things miraculously improve once the skill is achieved and then a calm period ensues. Understanding this concept can make it easier to cope with some of those difficult weeks. 4. Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn I listened to the audiobook version of this and it was so wonderful! Alfie Kohn narrates it himself. His indignation, sarcasm and passion for the cause are so genuine.